Hey guys. Man, I have been so sad lately.. I'm not even entirly sure why. I just have had the worst past days ever.. I can't smile.. I can't laugh.. the only smile ppl get outta me are fake lil hal grins... I can't be happy. & the reason is so0o0o0o gay...

I have always been grown up to believe that you don't need a man.. to be independent.. but I feel as if I have failed that expectaion greatly.. I am so lonely.. ever since Brandon left, & I knew what love was, I have had such an empty gap in my heart.. & a couple guys came & went, but none of them were the same, then Aaron came along & he literally took my breathe away... he gave me the same feeling that Brandon did, & I have been looking for the feeling for so long.....

I'm not complaining that no guys like me.. I actually know a couple of guys that do.. Nick, the other Nick, Nathan, the other Nathan, Daniel, D, ... I think thats it. lol.  So Im not complaining that noone likes me, no, I know some guys do, Im just really sad because I dont like any of those guys.. & the one that I might like, I cant date because of my stupid father's racist beliefs.  & its not liek I could sneak it because he goes to a different school than me, so we would barely see eahc other. So its not liek thats an option. Go figure, anything to ruin my life huh dad? grrr I am so mad at myself right now.

I went to the hospital today & got a somogram or whatever its called.. the xray thing they do for preganebt ladies.. lol. But Im not preganent.. lol. It was for a cyst that I have. How annoying. lol. So I have to take my Algebra 1 & Physical Science exams tomorrow.. more joy...

So I sit here.. depressed... for no reason at all..

xoxo whit*